Heeeeey guys! FIIIIIRST let me introduce you to my beloved boyfriend
He's created his dev account here : [link] check out his photos!

So how have you been lately? For me not that bad. Ermmmm ... actually I've been through really hard times these last weeks. My world is like, upside-down. I don't know how to go through this incredible maze which is life. I'm looking out for another meaning. A spiritual, transcendental, respectful of what I am and what I am to be, meaning. The Meaning with a big "M". The Truth with a giant "T". Find out what is really on and what is to do and what can I share with others in this world. How to walk without being hurt. What to learn if being hurt. What to do to deflate my own fears and embrace the world.

Which is not without seeming sometimes pointless. I am looking for something bigger. I know I am wondering too much. My bf says that whereas he sees one door and go through, and then if he's wrong he comes back, I see three doors and stay petrified just because I don't seem to know which one is the good one.
Well, I though about it over and over again, and it is not entirely true. I am not fearing to go through one of the doors. I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THESE DOORS. I am not afraid of what is ahead. I am more afraid of people and some ghosts (especially from my past). But the door I want to open is the door of truth. So, okay, in everyday life everybody has to go through some "mundane" tasks, such as go shopping, save money, find work. But I can't. Not that I am lazy to do so. It's just for me not useful at all.

So what? I guess I'll follow my intuition as always. I am always surrounded by the good people at the right time. I have this lucky star over my head. I have been through a month of hell, but light's pointing out, eventually. I am not the kind of girl who acts before she thinks and denies what's in her head. So f**** off people that say I am asking too many questions and that I should just go ahead and ACT. I am acting. Just in my own way, the way nobody never ever understood. I thought I didn't know what was right or what was wrong. The truth is, I F****ING know what I have to do! My priority is not to have a job, sorry to say that. My priority is to find out the meaning of why I am paralyzed in cases like this. The way to achieve the seven (and more) virtues. What is my power and how to unleash it all around the world.

Beware, people : you tell me what to do, but by doing my own way, I ensure you that I'll be not what I have to be, but the one I am and that YOU never imagined that I could be. My perfection, my reflection. Just... ME.
I don't want to stay feet on earth cut through the maze to find the exit, seeing just what is at my eye-level. I want to fly so I can see the Maze from heaven, so that I can catch the Sense, the Meaning, the Essence of Perfection.

So I seek for the fourth door, the ethereal and imaginative door, the blinding light we most desire : The door of Wisdom and Truth.


SO WISH ME LUCK.


Much love to y'all.